The World Needs more Tobi!
by Artimus Lan
Summary: A morning in the life of an orange masked ninja. REDONE. Rated T for cursing and violence.
1. Chapter 1

**This is the beginning of my complete redo of my Fanfiction career. I'm going through them all, and I'm redoing them now that my writing has improved. Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything thereof.**

**Warnings: T rated for language and references to violence.**

**A/N: I wrote this a LONG time ago. Now I understand who Tobi is, and that he really isn't this goofy, but back then the only knowledge I had of Tobi was from the silly comics strewn throughout the internet.**

**Zetsu's black side speaks in Bold.**

**The World Needs More Tobi**

**(Redone)**

Tobi awoke that morning face down on the floor. Blinking the sleep out of his eye, he hefted himself up and stretched his arms above his head. This wasn't anything new. Tobi had always been an active sleeper, rolling and turning, and occasionally became one with the floor. Despite this, Tobi hopped up with a skip in his step. He loved mornings. It was always a new beginning in a way, a new day to find out what everyone was up too.

'Tobi wonders if Deidara-senpai is awake yet...' the orange masked man questioned himself as he glanced at his alarm clock. It wasn't _that_ early.

Looking over at his blond roommate, Tobi smiled under his mask. Deidara was still fast asleep, his blond hair tangled from sleep while his face was buried into a thick pillow.

'Senpai's still asleep...' Tobi thought with a giggle, 'Tobi will let him sleep.' Carefully Tobi began to tip-toe to the bathroom. His bladder was screaming at him to run for it, but he was determined to let his senpai sleep. Distracted by the thought's of his bladder, Tobi's foot caught on a discarded shirt. Wobbling, Tobi tried to catch his balance and felt for the closest object, a low hanging shelf that held various items of Deidara's creation.

Tobi landed hard on the floor and stared up in horror as the various explosives fell towards him. Covering his eye hole, Tobi waited for the impact.

All he felt were the thunks on his mask of the bombs, but no explosion. Sighing in relief, Tobi felt thankful that the bombs had been duds, or at least were not as super sensitive as Deidara normally made them.

There had been no explosion, but the loud noise of the shelf coming from the wall and a, surprisingly heavy, Tobi falling to the floor had roused Deidara from his light sleep. "Gah!" Deidara squeaked as he bolted upright in his bed, his honed senses perceiving the noises as a threat. His hand reached for the shuriken he had on his night stand, and he was fully prepared to throw it.

"No Senpai!" Tobi shouted as he watched the blond reaching for the deadly weapon. "I-It's just Tobi, Senpai!" He shouted quickly.

Blinking the sleep out of his eyes, Deidara focused on the 'intruder', and found that it was, indeed, his roommate. Deidara felt the vein in his temple pulse, "One day Tobi, one damn day is all I ask, un!" He shouted in anger. It was always the same with this idiot! He couldn't even sleep around him. Tobi hastily began to apologize, but Deidara would have none of it. "You've already ruined my morning, un! Get out!" the blond screamed as his hands began feeling for various items strewn around his bed.

Tobi squeaked and ducked as an alarm clock whizzed by his head, "S-Senpai please!" Tobi begged as a shuriken flashed out of his peripherals and sliced a tiny cut through his pj's "Tobi is sorry!"

"I said get out, you little bug!" The blond replied as he wondered if he could chuck his side table at the masked man.

Feeling the danger rising, Tobi made for a quick exit out the bedroom door. Even he knew when to let the fiery blond have some space. He flew open the door, and turned to run down the hall. Tobi grunted as he collided with someone, or something, and his mask pushed roughly against his nose. Peeling himself off whatever he hit, he could feel now that it had been a chest that he had felt.

"Tobi?...**The hell are you up too this early in the damned morning**?" The large plant-like man inquired, one side obviously worried and the other side caring less about the younger males well-being.

"Z-Zetsu-san!" Tobi cried in relief then held tightly onto the larger mans shirt. "Deidara-senpai is angry at Tobi! He accidently tripped and caused a mess, and then he threw things at Tobi's head!" He stated pointing at a developing bruise under his mask, which of course Zetsu couldn't see.

Zetsu sighed. It was too early for this. He detached Tobi from the death grip on his shirt and nudged him in the direction of the bathroom. "Please try not to annoy Deidara. **He's a little bitch in the morning, we don't need you making it worse.** Go change out of your pajama's Tobi."

"Pajama's?" Looking down, Tobi realized that he was indeed still in his little Akatsuki shorts and thick socks. "Oops..." Tobi said before nodding. Changing sounded like a good idea!

Jogging off to the bathroom, Tobi was thankful that he had extra clothes in the bathroom closet. Going back to that death-trap of a room would result in an even angrier Deidara...Tobi shuddered at the thought. He knew how Deidara could be when he was angry. What just happen couldn't even compare to how the blond could be when he was really mad.

'Well, Senpai is out of the question...' Tobi thought as he exited the bathroom. Who else was there to talk too? Looking around, Tobi spotted a door covered in dried blood. 'Oooo, Hidan-san is always awake in the morning.'

Hidan sat in the middle of a carefully drawn circle, his rosary intertwined within his interlocked fingers as he prayed to his God, devotedly muttering the words under his breath. He was focused, his concentration written on his pale face.

"Hidan-san!" Tobi shouted as he flung open the door to the Jashinist's room.

The sudden noise made the white haired man jump, breaking his prayer. His back was to his door, but he knew very well who just interrupted his ritual. "The hell do you want freak? Can't you see I'm busy?" The alabaster haired zealot grumbled.

"Tobi wanted to see what you were doing Hidan-san!" 

"I'm praying...obviously," Hidan muttered under his breath before looking over at the obnoxious male, "I don't care why you're here. Piss off!"

"Aw, but Hidan-san, Deidara-senpai says you're never in the mood for fun! Hidan-san shouldn't be so grumpy!" Tobi pranced over into the Jashinist's circle and squatted in front of him, that obnoxiously orange mask staring Hidan in the face. "Let's have some fun!" The excited male chirped and gave a poke to Hidan's forehead.

The Jashinist's eye twitched dangerously. "Fine...you want to have some fun?"

The darker haired male nodded excitedly, hopping to his feet. "Of course Hidan-san!"

The Jashinist reached for his scythe. Suddenly Tobi felt unwelcome. Perhaps he should leave Hidan alone for today...

That thought came too late as Tobi bolted out of the irate mans room, fleeing the onslaught of curses and swings from a deadly weapon. He ducked and leaped down the stair well in an attempt to lose the other, but Hidan was right on his tail.

The next few minutes were a blur for Tobi. Trying to avoid a deadly kick, Tobi had fled into the kitchen. Tripping over his feet, Tobi toppled over the kitchen table and throwing its various contented to the other Akatsuki members who were trying to enjoy their breakfast. Food flew along with curses and shouts of anger, and a furious Leader was not happy to have coffee spilt into his lap. The red-head took his anger out on Hidan, who was merely an innocent bystander in all this. Apparently Tobi's tripping had gone unseen by the majority of the victims, and Hidan's hasty explanation only implemented him as the wrong-doer.

Tobi peaked over the upturned table and decided a hasty exit was in order. The masked man snuck quietly out the archway, tucking his hands into his pockets. 'Oops...Sorry Hidan-san!' he thought as he sat on the couch like a good boy. He hadn't meant to cause trouble, but it was Hidan's fault for chasing him! If he had just had fun like Tobi said then none of this would have happened.

**Thanks for reading! I understand that the previous edition of this was a horrible mess, but hey I wrote that when I was eleven. ELEVEN. A lot can happen in eight years. Apparently I didn't know how bad I truly was haha! So therefore, I am redoing my entire FanFiction profile. No longer will I be embarrassed by atrocities such as this!**

**But I understand that learning from past mistakes is important! Curious about how bad the first edition truly was? Check out Chapter two and see for yourself!**


	2. Chapter 2

_**(All of this grammarless, misspelled, filth is exactly as I had posted it on Fanfiction five or so years ago. It just goes to show you was some serious scolded I probably needed in my youth haha!) **_

**I no own naruto! No matter how much I want to**

This world needs more Tobi!

Tobi awoke that morning to the floor. Odd as that seems, its quite normal. For you see Tobi rolls in his sleep and usually wakes up this way. Not deterred from this, Tobi gets up happy as ever (ahh morning people…so few of them) and stretches and untangles himself from his blanket.

'Tobi wonders if Deidara-sampi is awake yet…' Tobi thought to himself. Tobi looks around and sees his beloved sampi still asleep in his bed hugging a pillow, which makes Tobi giggle.

'Sampi's asleep…better stay quiet!' Tobi smiles under his mask, which he slept in, and proceeds to tip toe to the bathroom. Tobi, dramatic as ever, took wide steps and ends up tripping on an article of clothing, squeaking, Tobi tries to catch himself by holding onto a conveniently placed shelf. But alas today was not Tobi's lucky day, for he held onto Deidara's shelf which held some of his explosive birds. Tobi fell to the floor with a loud thud and all of the birds fell with him causing a large explosion that blackens the room and our poor Tobi.

"Gah!" Deidara awakes with a jolt bolting upright just in time to see a black Tobi coughing and sitting on the floor in his jammies. "Tobi, what the hell?" Deidara screamed causing Tobi to jump up and start to stutter and apology but Deidara would hear none of it, and proceeded to throw everything in reach at poor Tobi. Tobi manages to dodge the lamp but a shoe smacks him right in the face making him stumble back.

"Tobi is sorry sampi! Please stop throwing things at Tobi's head!" Tobi squeaks ducking another lamp and runs out of the room away from his fuming sampi, only to bump into his favorite plant man. "Zetsu-san!" Tobi exclaims excitedly attaching himself to Zetsu.

"T-Tobi why are you all black? **Probably annoying the blonde again….stupid kid**." Zetsu's white side asks worriedly while his black side just states boredly.

"Tobi didn't mean to Zetsu-san! He tripped on a pair of Deidara's panties!" Tobi shouts in his defense.

Zetsu blushes lightly getting a sweat drop as well thinking 'we didn't need to know that Tobi…**I knew that blond wore female underwear…kind of arousing. **Stop thinking like that you pervert!' Zetsu blushes at his own argument with himself and puts down Tobi. "Tobi try not to annoy Deidara…and go change your still in your pajamas." Tobi looks down and sure enough, he's still in his shorts with little Akatsuki clouds on them and a plain black t-shirt. Tobi giggles and rushes to his room grabbing clothes before Deidara could blow him up, and went into the bathroom changing into his usual outfit.

"Hmm...Tobi wonders what Hidans doing!" Tobi smiles under his mask and skips off to find our lovable Jashinist.

Hidan was in his room praying on the floor when Tobi bursts in causing Hidan to jump a little then glare at the orange masked ninja. "Tobi what the fuck do you want?" Hidan shouts annoyed to have his precious ritual disturbed.

"Tobi just wanted to make Hidan-sans day happy!" Tobi chirps happily.

'Ugh...damnit just what I need...' Hidan thinks to himself then glares at Tobi once more. "I don't need you to make my fucking day better! I need you to leave!" Hidan yells a little making Tobi back up slightly not sure what he did wrong.

"But Hidan-san is always so grumpy! Deidara-sampi says its cause you don't have enough fun!" Tobi exclaims throwing up his arms as if to emphasize the word 'fun'. Tobi skips over despite Hidan growling at him and he pokes Hidan in the forehead. "Fun!" Tobi exclaims once more.

Hidans eye almost twitches when Tobi pokes him, and it actually does when Tobi says 'fun'. Hidan then got an idea and smirked. "Well...I do need fun...ill show you what i like to do for fun!" The look on Hidans face made Tobi step back a little and when Tobi realizes Hidans reaching for his scythe he squeaks jumping up and runs out of the room with a fuming Hidan at his heals swinging his scythe, determined to cut the youngers head off. "Get your orange wearing masked ass back here!" Hidan shouts and Tobi just runs faster heading into the kitchen, where the rest of the Akatsuki where eating breakfast. Tobi jumps onto the table to avoid one of Hidans swings and lands on a plate sending its contents into Itachi's hair, then ran across the table slipping on the table cloth making leaders coffee spill into his lap. The leader jumps up shouting angrily at Tobi (after all who wouldn't yell after having hot coffee spilled in your crotch am i right?) and Hidan threw the whole table out of the way causing Kisame to be covered in orange juice, Sasori to have a chunk of hair cut off thanks to Hidans scythe, Kakuzu to have his Cheerios thrown into his face, and Konan to have her toast fly off to god knows where. With everyone glaring at them, Hidan and Tobi freeze with Hidan about to punch Tobi in the face and Tobi is cowering and whimpering like a terrified puppy.

"HIDAN!" leader shouts in pure fury trying to keep his cloak away from his crotch as it is still hot from the coffee. "What the hell!"

"the little bastard ruined my ritual!" shouts back, not being the one for respect for the leader he says it in a very matter of fact way, as if he's talking to an idiot.

"ill give you something to bitch about Hidan!" leader growls tackling Hidan to the floor and beginning to strangle him while everyone else starts yelling at each other for getting food in there hair, face, area. Meanwhile Sasori is huddled in a corner with a pot on his head covering his new bald spot oblivious to the chaos around him. Poor Tobi just sits on the floor tilting his head to the side in a cute confused way. "Tobi just wanted to make everyone happy...oooo toast!" Tobi states then squeals excitedly picking up a plate of uneaten toast and skips to the living room to enjoy his breakfast. Now I bet your wondering where Zetsu is. Well our little plant man is buried out in the yard, he's been there for several days after Tobi 'helped' him in the garden.

**A/N thanks for reading! I had fun with this one lol please review! I'm a new artist and criticism is needed so I don't looks like an idiot! *waves a stop sign at on coming traffic***

_**(Horrible isn't it? Did anyone catch how bad I spelt sempai? Egh sampi...what the heck is a sampi? Haha! And how the heck did Zetsu go from talking to Tobi that morning to apparently being burring in the garden for several days? Apparently Zetsu has temporal space powers. Why did I think this was good?! Why did no one tell me how bad it was?! I blame the schools haha.)**_

_**(Thanks for reading everyone!)**_


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